BP is doing it again

Corn oil leakage on BP field

BP has recently announced its new venture: corn oil. As revealed today by its management during a presentation held in Brasil, BP wants to diversify its assets and acquire some corn fields in Brasil, Mexico and the US.

A spokesman of the oil magnate has spilled the beans to our correspondent:

We are aware of our responsibility to save the environment and have decided to invest in corn oil. It is not a big change – after all, we know everything about oil, and there is hardly any difference between crude oil and corn oil.

Experts expect it to be harder for BP to mess anything up with corn oil production. Nevertheless, the first BP corn field has already shown signs of leakage: the leaking field can be clearly seen from space.

Stemming the leak is yet another challenging task for BP: Kevin Costner has allegedly already developed a new corn oil leakage prevention mechanism, which should in theory help plugging and preventing leaks in the future. While the technical details are unknown, witnesses have observed his staff purchasing wholesale feminine care products.

Information leaked from the company insiders suggests that the company has been suffering from leaks throughout its existence: nearly all BP offices have experienced leaks of various kinds, including sewage and toilet.

Leaked photo of BP office leak

Leaked photo of recent BP office leak

Critical environmental voices suggest that BP change its area of expertise to something not involving any liquids – for example, to car or plane manufacturing – though not amphibious, obviously.